Something I've noticed in my recent posts is the re-occurrence of the idea of "being thankful" for my position with the non-profit and wanting to "finish strong." Last night, instead of partying, I had a brutally honest conversation with my friend A. Out of just about everyone I confide in, with the exception of my parents, A is the easiest to talk to and gives me the best feedback. The main thing that came out of that conversation for me is that I need to be more honest with folks - the good and the bad. I know that I reveal a lot in these blog entries and that this is a positive blog; I Am Here 2 Love will always be a positive blog, but now with a bit more honesty believe it or not. There's not going to be anything negative or hurtful here, but just my truths with the hope of maybe touching, inspiring, or putting a smile on that one person's face. With that said, let me explain why, I am so appreciative to this non-profit and this a story that starts on my 23rd birthday: the worst birthday I can remember.
On my 23rd birthday (12/14/11), I was out of it. I was exhausted by all of the days spent searching online job boards while chilling at MLK Library in downtown D.C. Everyday was the same routine: Get up, take the bus to the library, job hunt online, have lunch at the food court downtown, go back to the library and continue, take the bus back home. At this point, I was a good six months out of school and while I had not yet given up, I was out of it. Moreover, when I saw all of my peers having jobs, in grad school, or otherwise, it just felt as though I was not where I was supposed to be (I now have a better understanding that each of us needs to follow or our path and if we put the work in, we'll be where we're supposed to eventually). On this day, I was buying gift cards on behalf of the D.C. areas local 2011 Princeton alums. My friend A had the cash we had collected in her office and I went downtown to pick it up. Unfortunately, A had a meeting and couldn't meet me, so I had to pick it up with a receptionist. Our class had raised $180 during our most recent bar night and we were working in collaboration with the Princeton Club of Washington (PCW) to give gift cards for six kids of $30 each. Since I had some free time on my hands (haha, obviously), I was the person who volunteered to pick up the cards. Four of the kids wanted movie gift cards and the other two wanted McDonalds gift cards; however, unfortunately, I got that mixed up. After collecting the gift cards, I had lunch and delivered them to the local law firm of a PCW member. Eventually, I made it back to Silver Spring to catch the final bus on the way home. When I got on the bus, I swiped my SmartTrip card in order to pay for the trip: I did not have any money left on the card.
Not having any money left on my SmartTrip card was the worst feeling in the world. Fortunately, the driver was nice enough to let me ride for free, but I'll never forget that. In fact, that entire bus ride was the worst. I was thinking about how disappointed I was with myself and my life. I was thinking "I'm 23, still 'exploring my options,' don't have enough money to ride the bus, and it's my birthday." As much as I'll never forget the bad parts of that day, I'll never forget the best part. For dinner, my parents made me my favorite meal: tacos, rice & beans, and chips with salsa and queso. Moreover, it was so nice to eat this meal together as a family - just the three of us in the kitchen - on my birthday - that means so much to me and is one of my favorite memories.
Flash forward to the present for a moment: for the past few days, I've been in touch with my friend M. I'm sure M won't mind me sharing this, but we're old friends from middle school and at the moment, we're both working to find our way so to speak. One of the things that I have been saying recently is to "hang in there because life can change for the better with one moment, in one day."
I am convinced that my life changed on Wednesday December 15th, with one phone call...
I'm writing this on the Megabus right now on the way back from Princeton (via Philly) and am a few minutes from Union Station in Washington D.C. So I'll have to finish this in Part Two, but here's a thought:
Some of you had no idea about this part of my life. lol. Like I said, this is going to be a more honest and authentic blog to reflect the way, I'm going to live my life moving forward. Don't worry, things get a lot better :)
On my 23rd birthday (12/14/11), I was out of it. I was exhausted by all of the days spent searching online job boards while chilling at MLK Library in downtown D.C. Everyday was the same routine: Get up, take the bus to the library, job hunt online, have lunch at the food court downtown, go back to the library and continue, take the bus back home. At this point, I was a good six months out of school and while I had not yet given up, I was out of it. Moreover, when I saw all of my peers having jobs, in grad school, or otherwise, it just felt as though I was not where I was supposed to be (I now have a better understanding that each of us needs to follow or our path and if we put the work in, we'll be where we're supposed to eventually). On this day, I was buying gift cards on behalf of the D.C. areas local 2011 Princeton alums. My friend A had the cash we had collected in her office and I went downtown to pick it up. Unfortunately, A had a meeting and couldn't meet me, so I had to pick it up with a receptionist. Our class had raised $180 during our most recent bar night and we were working in collaboration with the Princeton Club of Washington (PCW) to give gift cards for six kids of $30 each. Since I had some free time on my hands (haha, obviously), I was the person who volunteered to pick up the cards. Four of the kids wanted movie gift cards and the other two wanted McDonalds gift cards; however, unfortunately, I got that mixed up. After collecting the gift cards, I had lunch and delivered them to the local law firm of a PCW member. Eventually, I made it back to Silver Spring to catch the final bus on the way home. When I got on the bus, I swiped my SmartTrip card in order to pay for the trip: I did not have any money left on the card.
Not having any money left on my SmartTrip card was the worst feeling in the world. Fortunately, the driver was nice enough to let me ride for free, but I'll never forget that. In fact, that entire bus ride was the worst. I was thinking about how disappointed I was with myself and my life. I was thinking "I'm 23, still 'exploring my options,' don't have enough money to ride the bus, and it's my birthday." As much as I'll never forget the bad parts of that day, I'll never forget the best part. For dinner, my parents made me my favorite meal: tacos, rice & beans, and chips with salsa and queso. Moreover, it was so nice to eat this meal together as a family - just the three of us in the kitchen - on my birthday - that means so much to me and is one of my favorite memories.
Flash forward to the present for a moment: for the past few days, I've been in touch with my friend M. I'm sure M won't mind me sharing this, but we're old friends from middle school and at the moment, we're both working to find our way so to speak. One of the things that I have been saying recently is to "hang in there because life can change for the better with one moment, in one day."
I am convinced that my life changed on Wednesday December 15th, with one phone call...
I'm writing this on the Megabus right now on the way back from Princeton (via Philly) and am a few minutes from Union Station in Washington D.C. So I'll have to finish this in Part Two, but here's a thought:
Some of you had no idea about this part of my life. lol. Like I said, this is going to be a more honest and authentic blog to reflect the way, I'm going to live my life moving forward. Don't worry, things get a lot better :)
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