Tuesday, September 18, 2012

Quick Update: I'm Bored

It's been too long since I've written a blog entry. In terms of a quick update, I'm a little bored with my life right now. Before I say why I'm bored, I consider myself fortunate to have the following: (1) a stable job with health insurance, (2) parents that are helping to save money, and (3) friends that support me and care - those are certainly things to be thankful for.

With that said, here's the reason why I'm bored: nothing in my life feels challenging right now. As much as I hated not having an income or feeling down, I think I enjoyed the struggle of searching for an opportunity. During last March, I embraced the process of searching for my break, i.e. I went all-in... and a funny thing happened: I succeeded as a Princeton Project '55 Fellow. Currently, in my fellowship/job I feel very confident in my abilities and daily performance. Moreover, as the Princeton Club of Washington's programs chair, I either directly plan/execute or supervise 3-4 programs each month, including some featuring over 100 attendees. In both of these roles, I feel as though I'll always find a way to come through and "make it happen" - and I think that's the problem. I would like to be in a situation in which I really need to push myself, but then we get to the second problem, or rather question:

What would I like to do?

I spending a lot of time thinking about what I want to do. Grad school? Business school? Something else? There are a lot of big questions here and I think that's the weakness of still living with my parents. I appreciate that my Mom and Dad (especially) are very methodical and logical folks, but I think that I listen to them to much instead of just going after things myself. I'm not talking in terms of the little things, but more so the big things such as housing and apartments. Recently, my decisions have been relatively safe and beneficial - I need to get back to taking more of those safe risks. And as far of the big risks, I need more of those too.

There's one more thing that I need to discuss (seriously) here: in a lot of ways, I'm both tightening the circle and expanding it. I'm tightening the circle by being more considerate of whom I spend my time with, reach out to, and open up with. In the past, I've been burned too many times and a lot of those instances have been unfortunate and (a little painful). Recently, it's been great having the chance to spend more time with my parents, uncles - aunts - and cousins, family friends, and close friends like MR (practically every weekend), AM (when she's free - once in a blue moon, lol), JT (even though she's across the pond), and CO (when he comes through). Also, I'm expanding the circle and meeting more people in a variety of ways. I meet a new person every time I go to a happy hour. Last week, I met LGBT and Ally Princeton alumni at a focus group dinner.

One thing that I do know is that if I want change in my life, I can achieve it if I work hard. So if I want a challenge or a change, it's just beyond the horizon :)

 

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