Four Months Worth of Appreciation - Part One

Something I've noticed in my recent posts is the re-occurrence of the idea of "being thankful" for my position with the non-profit and wanting to "finish strong." Last night, instead of partying, I had a brutally honest conversation with my friend A. Out of just about everyone I confide in, with the exception of my parents, A is the easiest to talk to and gives me the best feedback. The main thing that came out of that conversation for me is that I need to be more honest with folks - the good and the bad. I know that I reveal a lot in these blog entries and that this is a positive blog; I Am Here 2 Love will always be a positive blog, but now with a bit more honesty believe it or not. There's not going to be anything negative or hurtful here, but just my truths with the hope of maybe touching, inspiring, or putting a smile on that one person's face. With that said, let me explain why, I am so appreciative to this non-profit and this a story that starts on my 23rd birthday: the worst birthday I can remember.

On my 23rd birthday (12/14/11), I was out of it. I was exhausted by all of the days spent searching online job boards while chilling at MLK Library in downtown D.C. Everyday was the same routine: Get up, take the bus to the library, job hunt online, have lunch at the food court downtown, go back to the library and continue, take the bus back home. At this point, I was a good six months out of school and while I had not yet given up, I was out of it. Moreover, when I saw all of my peers having jobs, in grad school, or otherwise, it just felt as though I was not where I was supposed to be (I now have a better understanding that each of us needs to follow or our path and if we put the work in, we'll be where we're supposed to eventually). On this day, I was buying gift cards on behalf of the D.C. areas local 2011 Princeton alums. My friend A had the cash we had collected in her office and I went downtown to pick it up. Unfortunately, A had a meeting and couldn't meet me, so I had to pick it up with a receptionist. Our class had raised $180 during our most recent bar night and we were working in collaboration with the Princeton Club of Washington (PCW) to give gift cards for six kids of $30 each. Since I had some free time on my hands (haha, obviously), I was the person who volunteered to pick up the cards. Four of the kids wanted movie gift cards and the other two wanted McDonalds gift cards; however, unfortunately, I got that mixed up. After collecting the gift cards, I had lunch and delivered them to the local law firm of a PCW member. Eventually, I made it back to Silver Spring to catch the final bus on the way home. When I got on the bus, I swiped my SmartTrip card in order to pay for the trip: I did not have any money left on the card.

Not having any money left on my SmartTrip card was the worst feeling in the world. Fortunately, the driver was nice enough to let me ride for free, but I'll never forget that. In fact, that entire bus ride was the worst. I was thinking about how disappointed I was with myself and my life. I was thinking "I'm 23, still 'exploring my options,' don't have enough money to ride the bus, and it's my birthday." As much as I'll never forget the bad parts of that day, I'll never forget the best part. For dinner, my parents made me my favorite meal: tacos, rice & beans, and chips with salsa and queso. Moreover, it was so nice to eat this meal together as a family - just the three of us in the kitchen - on my birthday - that means so much to me and is one of my favorite memories.

Flash forward to the present for a moment: for the past few days, I've been in touch with my friend M. I'm sure M won't mind me sharing this, but we're old friends from middle school and at the moment, we're both working to find our way so to speak. One of the things that I have been saying recently is to "hang in there because life can change for the better with one moment, in one day."

I am convinced that my life changed on Wednesday December 15th, with one phone call...

I'm writing this on the Megabus right now on the way back from Princeton (via Philly) and am a few minutes from Union Station in Washington D.C. So I'll have to finish this in Part Two, but here's a thought:

Some of you had no idea about this part of my life. lol. Like I said, this is going to be a more honest and authentic blog to reflect the way, I'm going to live my life moving forward. Don't worry, things get a lot better :)

Three Really Good Things

Yesterday (Friday) three really good things happened: 

1. Meeting R 

The usual method I take to travel to Princeton is simple yet long: (1) Megabus from D.C. to Philadelphia - 3 hours, (2) Train from Philadelphia to Trenton - 1 hour, (3) Bus from Trenton to Princeton - 45 minutes. When I got on the Megabus, the only seats left were upstairs at the very back of the bus. I went to the back and found a seat next to R. R is around my age, attends college locally, and the only reason I really met her is because of the fact that the Megabus was delayed an entire hour due to "lack of air pressure." 

Never before have I struck up such a fascinating, natural, and important conversation with an individual so quickly. In the span of three hours, we covered a lot: college, jobs, nightlife, the future, friends, privilege, homophobia, relationships, Joseph Kony, TV, etc. While chilling with R over the span of a three hour bus ride, something that really stuck out to me was the fact that there are people like me out there; young people who are working hard, doing what they need to do (whatever that might be), and trying to find their way. Meeting R was unbelievable because we had the type of natural connection that makes for fast friends, yet was as random as anything and probably would have never occurred under normal circumstances. 

We're probably going to meet up later this week. 

2. My Conversation L 

L is one of my closest friends at Princeton and I happened to catch her at the right time near the end of dinner. I'm not going into details about this one, but I'll say this: it was good to have another insightful, meaningful, and deep talk with L. 

3. Catching up with Y 

Y and I have known each other since freshman year. We both knew that we would be in Princeton on Friday night and decided to meet up for a few games of beruit. It's always good to see an old friend and catch up with one another. Eventually, Y and I got into a deep discussion about relationships and she helped me to discover the following: I am a relationship guy. 

Repeat: I am a relationship guy. 

This is an important fact and maybe, just maybe I'll expand upon this development in another entry (it's something that will need to be carefully crafted in order to keep it appropriate and informative without giving away to much detail or hurting any one). 

But these three encounters were wonderful. I met a new friend and caught up with two good ones. Although I said that I should not have really came back to Princeton, I'm glad I did. 

Everything I Have

"Thank God for granting me this moment of clarity, this moment of honesty" - Jay-Z

I thank GOD for granting me this moment of clarity right now, this moment of honesty right now. For the past few days, the words of my friend Jamelle Sanders have deeply resonated with me. Today in particular, I am thinking about this: 

"This is the moment that you have be waiting for. Now is the time to move into your future"

During this past week, I've met so many people who have opened my eyes to new opportunities and possibilities. There is so much that is out there and so much for me to learn. For the first time in a while, I am taking advantage of just about every opportunity that's been presented to me.

Here's something else: next week will be my last week working at this non-profit. From mid-December to mid-March, I worked as an administrative assistant at this organization and I would like to think that I gave them everything I have. For my last week: I am focus on giving everything I have and leaving it all there. 

That's the theme (and the new hashtag) for the rest of the month: Everything I have: #EverythingIHave

I would also like to think that I give my family and friends everything I have. I know that I need to give my parents more for all they have given me. In terms of thinking about my friendships, I would like to think that I am a good friend and give my friends everything I have: that's why I'm here this weekend.

I have four friends who are performing this weekend in "Empire" - a bellydancing show. Each of them have worked hard throughout the year to make this happen and I'm here to support them - in Princeton. Although it's always good to see my other Quad and Princeton friends, the main reason I'm here is to see their show. Besides that, I do not belong here. My good friend A put things into great perspective for me: 

"Yeah you shouldn't be here, but it means a lot to N that you are."

This is #DoOrDieMarch and the future is in my grasp. At the beginning of the month, I appreciated Jamelle's words for the momentary spark that they provided, but now, this is a fire and I need to unleash, i.e. give #EverythingIHave.

Although I may not be at that new place or position come April 1st, I'll say this: Come that date, if I can say to myself that I have worked hard, stuck to the gameplan, followed-through, and have taken advantage of every opportunity presented to me - then that's a win. There is so much about this journey that I'm enjoying, namely the growth and the challenge. 

I'll leave you with a preview for next time: everything happens for a reason. Although in my heart I feel that I should not be here in Princeton, three really good things happened within the last 24 hours.

#DoOrDieMarch 

#FightForDestiny

#EverythingIHave

Update: One Week In

So far, I'm right on schedule :)

This past week has been amazing. I'm thankful for all of the encouragement that I've received from my friends and family. It is also astonishing how folks are saying "yes" for me in regards to my letter of recommendation request. In particular, I am touched by words of my friend C who said, "I'll do it" when I asked her to write me a letter despite the fact that she is currently working on her senior thesis along with her other classwork and (probable) job hunting.

Since last Thursday, March 1st, so much has occurred and most of it revolves around my life as a Princeton alum. On Monday and Tuesday, I had the opportunity to interact with so many local Princeton alums during activities related to President Shirley Tilghman's visit to Washington. Over dinners, happy hours, and receptions, I caught with old friends and made new ones. In course of meeting new folk and networking, I've been offered some pretty solid advice in terms of pursuing career opportunities. Moreover, a fundamental lesson was reinforced after reflecting upon these interactions:

Following up with people and thanking them is very, very important

On Wednesday morning I believe that I sent out around 10 "thank you and follow-up" emails.

Also, witnessing the success of the folks around me serves as motivation. I have friends who have been accepted to grad schools or are also taking that next step; although I know that I need to follow my own path and can't compare it to someone else's, I am also capable of doing something big. And with that said...

Looking forward, I am going back to Princeton tomorrow (for the entire weekend) in order to watch the Raks (belly dancing show). I have some dear friends who have been working hard and I'm looking forward to watching them perform. In my downtime, I have applications to read for the Princeton Prize and cover letters to draft: should be fun!

Finally, I want to highlight to things that really touched me this week.

First, my friend Jamelle Sanders emailed me with a newsletter featuring the theme: "Fight for Destiny." In it he writes:

"How bad do you want your destiny? Will you fight for your future? Or are you going to give up on your dream? This is not the season to quit but this is the season to fight! Victory will never be won without violent warfare. What you are feeling is the war for your future. You cannot bow to the pressure but you must break your way into purpose. Change is within your grasp. You are moving into cycles of greatness. This is the moment that you have be waiting for. Now is the time to move into your future. Divorce your past and discover your purpose. Stop giving your past your attention because it will only cause your significance to be aborted. You have too much to do to be tormented by the disappointments of yesterday!"

Translation for me: let go of the past, and focus aggressively on the present moment; do your thing.

Second, someone from the Princeton Alumni leadership team wrote this to me in an email:

"It was wonderful to meet you. I heard from many constituencies, 'if it weren’t for Reggie we wouldn’t have…(fill in the blank)'. Thank you for keeping the tiger spirit alive in DC."

A note like this means so much to me. It's humbling when someone tells you that you've done something good for folks. This was one of the little things that made a big impact on my day.


#DoOrDieMarch
#FightForDestiny

#DoOrDieMarch: The Soundtrack

Here's the basic idea behind #DoOrDieMarch: I want to make a change in my life and I've given myself a month to do it. Furthermore, this is it; this is "do or die" for me.

I'll get more into this concept in an upcoming entry, but I think anyone who is reading this blog knows what I'm talking about: the moment in which you're forced to step up and do what you need to do. And if you don't, it's over.

There are songs that express the feelings sounding this situation perfectly: confidence, hope, resilience, and urgency. Here is my soundtrack for #DoOrDieMarch:  


Invincible - Machine Gun Kelly

Dreamchasers - Meek Mill

Written In The Stars - Tinie Tempah

Airplanes - B.o.B

The Show Goes On - Lupe Fiasco

Not Afraid - Eminem

Dream On - Aerosmith

Gonna Fly Now (Theme From Rocky)

Best Of You - Foo Fighters

Juicy - The Notorious B.I.G.

Dollar and a Dream III - J. Cole

Livin' On A Prayer - Bon Jovi



#DoOrDieMarch

And for the next two weeks...

I'm going to work my butt off on my way out of the non-profit.

Yesterday morning, I gave the folks that I've been privileged to work with over the last three months my notice. I cannot say this enough: the staff at the non-profit has been so good to me. As I make this transition, I really want to leave the right way.

Here's one of my favorite Lil Wayne verses (from his track Comfortable, of Tha Carter III): "And if you leave, leave correct."

In the past, there have been quite a few personal and professional relationships for which I feel that I did not "leave correct" or that upon reflection, I could have handled better by being more honest with myself. Recently, I am happy to say that I have been more upfront and direct in my communication (with myself and others) and the results have been fruitful thus far.

As I told my co-workers about my plans today, one of the comments that really touched me was from someone with whom I seldom interact. This particular person introduced me to her boyfriend employing the adjective "stellar"

Stellar - a : of or relating to the stars : astral b : composed of stars

2 : of or relating to a theatrical or film star <stellar names>

3 a : principal, leading <a stellar role> b : outstanding <a stellar performance>

 

This description and that word "stellar" touched me. It means, that I'm a star and an outstanding performer. It's humbling to think that's what some of the people I've been working with think of me; I want to leave them with a lasting impression. And moving forward, I need to continue to work my butt off to be stellar, yet remaining humble (that's some of the best advice I've ever received and it's from my cousin T). 

 

#DoOrDieMarch 

 

 

 

My March Plans... And Future Plans.

Education.

At the moment, I'm going down the path of becoming an educator. There's something special It's a privilege to be able to share your knowledge and insights with another human being in a formal capacity.

Now, how I'm going to get there... that's going to be one roller-coaster of a ride, lol. First a little recap:

• For the past few months, I've been working as an administrative assistant at a D.C. non-profit that deals with gerontology and advocacy for the elderly. I've enjoyed and appreciate this experience immensely. The folks here have been great to me and I've been giving it my all every day; however, I want to be an educator.

• A little bit more than a month ago, I had coffee with three of my friends at a local cafe (not Starbucks, lol). I told them that by April 1st, I'll be exactly where I want to be.

• Grad school is definitely on the table with a master's of public policy being the top pick right now

• I'm doing a bunch of programming for the local Princeton Alumni Association, the Princeton Club of Washington (PCW) as the co-chair of its program committee. So far I've organized a visit to the RACE exhbition at the Smithsonian, a visit to the American Art Museum, and a Washington Wizards game.

• Finally, I've been back to Princeton twice in 2012 - the first time to catch up with J, N, M, S, and other Quad folk and the second time for Alumni Day... I'll admit, there's something about being on an educational campus that I enjoy. 

Ok, with all that said, I have a month left to get some things done. March is going to be a little different in that I'm attacking things head on, i.e. being proactive. This is not to say that I was not proactive in the past, but this time, I'm going to be more aggressive and there's going to be some aggression at play in terms of achieiving these two goals (1) Being involved in educational organizations (schools, volunteering etc.) by the end of the month and (2) Positioning myself for an opportunity in education by the end of March.

Here's the timeframe:

March 1st (today): Requests for letters of reference

March 5th: Cover letter completed

March 12th - March 16th: Getting back letters of reference

March 19th - Start working with a local educational organization

March 30th - Interviews

Mid-Late April - GRE

I'm going to keep the more intricate details to myself, but I'm looking forward to this ride. Also, I intend to use Saturdays to network and study for the GRE - should be fun times.

Also, here are some more important dates:

March 5th - 6th: Meeting up with local and National Princeton Alumni Leadership

March 9th - 10th: Return to Princeton for the Raks Odalisque (last time for a while).

March 16th: ?????? - we'll see what happens

March 17th: PCW St. Patrick's Day Mixer (I'm organizing this and it should be a great party)

April 1st: Wrestlemania 28 (I'm definitely ordering this PPV - the Rock vs. John Cena, lol)

One more thing: I'm going to search for opportunities every day and if you have any leads, please let me know. Ok, it's showtime.

P.S.: I made my own hashtag on Twitter #DoOrDieMarch - so you can follow my progress and see what's happening on a day-to-day basis.